Sarah went into a small diner to eat her morning meal. During her dining experience she noticed a large sasquatch sitting at the counter trying it's best to blend in. Sarah is curious and petrified. She speaks into the phone with hushed whispers and is quickly annoyed by Scoop Hound.

 

Please send your takes to scoophound@outlook.com


                SARAH
        (frightened)
    There is a large, hairless creature in Punky's Diner right now.

                SCOOPHOUND
    Ooooooh. I love Punky's Diner. Or I did before they started cooking with bugs. Their biscuits and gravy. So good.

                SARAH
    Yeah yeah yeah. Everyone loves Punky's Diner. We get it.

                SCOOPHOUND
    I'm just saying.

                SARAH
    Anyways, there is a large hairless man creature thing eating in Punky's Diner. I know this is gonna sound crazy. Believe me I already know. I'm having a hard time believing it if I'm being honest I think it could be a Sasquatch.

                SCOOPHOUND
    It's probably just a big normal guy.

                SARAH
    He's got stubble an every exposed inch of skin. Do you normally get 5 o'clock shadow on your forehead?

                WILL
        (speaks with a mouth full of food)
    He can't grow a decent beard.

                SCOOPHOUND
    I CHOOSE to not grow a beard. Some of us don't want to look like a homeless creep like some crappy producers I know and am currently looking directly at..... and pointing at. Are you eating a sandwich right now?

                SARAH
    Are you done?

                SCOOPHOUND
    I don't know. Are we done now?

                WILL
        (sadly)
    I think my beard makes me look rugged.

                SCOOPHOUND
    Yeah... I bet you really think that's true. It's gross. You could at least shampoo it once in a while.

                SARAH
    Would you shut up please? This isn't just some extra rugged fella who decided to shave himself down to reduce drag so he could become the next Michael Phelps. This has got to be a bonafied, grade A+ sasquatch. I'm about 99 percent sure of it. Maybe 95 percent.

                SCOOPHOUND
    Uh huh.... Sure.

                SARAH
    He's gotta be at least 8 feet tall. His clothes are way too small for him. He looks ridiculous sitting at the counter with his cup of coffee. It looks like an espresso cup in his hands.

                SCOOPHOUND
    Well he's probably European if he's drinking espresso.

                SARAH
    Are you being serious right now? I'm saying he's so big that a normal sized coffee cup looks like an espresso cup when he is holding it.

                SCOOPHOUND
    Yeah. I know..... I was making a joke.

                SARAH
    His skin is all saggy and wrinkly. His eyes are like two tiny little black marbles. He just keeps grunting and winking at the waitress. Ooooooh boy.

                SCOOPHOUND
    What?

                SARAH
    He just turned around and looked right at me. He just took off his fedora.

                SCOOPHOUND
    He's wearing a fedora?

                SARAH
    Well he's not wearing it anymore. Ok.... He turned back around. What the hell? He just pinched a waitress's ass. She did not like that.

                SCOOPHOUND
    What the hell is this sasquatch doing? He can't just go around pinching people's asses. It's 2016 for crying out loud.

                SARAH
    What the hell is going on?

                SCOOPHOUND
    You tell us.

                SARAH
    The cook just came out.

                SARAH
    Oh boy. The cook is pulling his grease stained apron off. Oh my lord. The thing is standing up now. His head is touching the ceiling.

                SARAH
        (panicked)
    It just ripped off it's shirt and is tearing the place up.

                SCOOPHOUND
    You should probably get out of there.

                SARAH
        (petrified and stuttering)
    I I I I I I can't move..... My my my my my legs aren't working.... I I I I I I'm too scared to to to move.

                SCOOPHOUND
    You have to get out of there.

                SCOOPHOUND
    What's happening?

                SARAH
    He's putting on his fedora...... And walking directly towards me. Oh god I don't want to.....